– I mostly sleep naked but I don’t think we can do that on camera. (upbeat funk music) – Alright, let’s get in bed. – Well these are a little rough. – And these are a little newspapery. – I’m not really satisfied with this, it’s kind of itchy. If I have a slumber party, the person I like least would probably get these sheets. (chuckles) – I’m not a fan of these. I think these are like the 150 or whatever.
– These sheets are like a cape for Halloween. – Probably like 250. – Oh 250, that’s very specific. I’d just go with 200. – 300 thread count. – 200. – Well 200 is right but oops I didn’t realize cotton felt like this. – You win. Alright what do we got here? Ooo! – This is significantly better. – I like it. – Ooo these are better. Now I understand. – These are quite nice. – I can have sex in these sheets. – Yes. (laughs) – These are more bangable. – See to me, all sheets are bangable unless it’s a plastic tarp. – I prefer sheets with dark colors. – Yes for periods. – I like touching myself. – I’m gonna get out of bed now. – These are not Netflix and Chill sheets these are like, Sunday morning breakfast in bed, I love you sheets. You know? – I think the thread count is probably, I’m gonna guess 400. – I say 500. – These are 700. Fo sho. – Oh bloody hell we know nothing. – Killin it! – I’m so close! – Well I’m just gonna fart in here. – These seem like an executive would own these. – These are like the not classy 1% though.
This is like the Donald Trump of sheets. – They’re really thick. – Yeah. This feels like an army uniform. – Yeah I’m not a big fan of this. – Also yeah the color throws me off. I wouldn’t really want to bang in these sheets. – I like this color. – So sex rating, low. – I’m gonna say 850. – I would say 400. – Shit I don’t know, 1000? I win! – 1000 thread count. – What! The higher the thread count, the better though.
Or is it sometimes it’ll suddenly drop off and be shit again? (grunts) – Ooo! – Yes! – Yeah were getting into cotton territory. 6- It reminds me of a super hero in the night. – Jesus Christ. – Ok they’re very thin but they’re very soft. – Wiggle your toes. – This just feels very elegant and flowy. – Sex rating? – This is not, this is like a 10. – I would feel bad about banging in these risking not feeling this again. – I don’t know like 3000. – You’re gonna say 3000? I wanna say 1,200. 1800 thread count. If it’s good enough to clean camera lens, it’s good enough to rub on my body.
– I thought you were gonna say butt. – Or my butt. – I think there’s a clear winner. – Yeah. – Microfiber. – Microfiber for the win. – Shockingly enough, microfiber was the upset. It’s a cheaper sheet but yet far superior. – Definitely softer. – Yes these are my favorite. – I love that microfilm. – Microfiber. – I love that microfiber. I love it. .